hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
