You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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