are you still at the devil's house?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
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last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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