Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
