Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
