Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
