Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
