Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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