Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
