Don't make out with my wife yet
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
