Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think I sprained my soul last night
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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