I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Someone shit on the floor
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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