i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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