Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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