After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
