It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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