So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
