Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
