Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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