I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
