At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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