Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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