shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I need to sanitize my soul.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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