I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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