Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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