Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
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I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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