in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
