I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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