So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I don't think brook has ever known best
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
