the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
you made out with another girl for some wings
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
