? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Barsexuality is the new black.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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