There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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