How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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