so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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