I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
