I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
