so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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