I'm laying in your front yard are you home
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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