i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
