Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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