I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
