I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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