I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
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Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
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I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
wow bdsm is so cute
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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