its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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