my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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