If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
