Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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