after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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