new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
