So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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