spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
even my farts smell like vagina
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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