All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
