Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
