That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
