im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
