the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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