yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can text with my tongue
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
