David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
